These are "Funnies".
Pinnocchio has drowned!
Pinocchio visits a doctor.
The doctor checks him over and says, "Yes, mister,
you have woodlice."
you like horses?
why don't you ride?"
I liked hedgehogs, would I ride them too?"
wolf and a rabbit come to a restaurant.
would like some carrot and cabbage," says the
is your friend hungry?" asks the waiter.
he was, I won't be here."
teacher says to his students during the exam:
can peek at the answers, but make it so I don't
boy and a girl are reading an animal magazine. They
start to argue: "Could be!"
boy and the girl come to their grandmother:
can you have kids?"
no, dears, of course not!"
children walk away. The boy says:
I told you, she's male!"
old are you?"
George mounted the stallion, reached towards his
sword, shouting "Show me the dragon!"...
when a bunch of yelling guys ran to him and
dragged him off the horse. Served him right: should
have paid for the carousel ride.
fish in a fish tank. One asks another:
you think God exists?" The other fish swims
away, thinks, and replies:
if not, who changes the water in the tank?"
is the question that no one would answer positively?
lion walks across the forest and meets a bear. The
bear. Come tomorrow, I'm going to eat you. Questions?"
bear walks away in tears.
lion walks on and meets a fox.
fox. Come to me the day after tomorrow, I'll eat
crying fox walks away.
lion walks on and meets a hedgehog.
hedgehog. Come to me two days after tomorrow, I'll
eat you. Do you have any questions?"
Can I not come?"
you can - crossing out."
did E.T. die?
he had to pay his phone bills.
Mr. Black, did you sleep well last night? Did you
I did, doctor. I counted 362,493,5."
did you sleep then?"
it was time to get up!"
the way to school, a boy fell and everyone laughed.
But I didn't."
good, Billy. Who was the boy?"
Legolas riding his horse. On his back is a sheet
you can read this, the dwarf fell off."
is one cookie left.
mouldy, stale, stone-hard, tasteless, 10-year old
cookie. And you're gonna eat it?"
There is one last cookie left. Do you know what
I can have it?
It means you ate the rest!!!
Oh, and that, too...
Garfield, what happened to the cookies that used
to be in this jar?........No, that's a dumb question.
Hey Jon, I'll bet anything that you won't find Odie!
Garfield... what were you doing with that shovel?
Come out, mouse!
from inside the mouse hole: Mouse doesn't live here
Then who are YOU?
I'm a sabre-tooth shrieking lemur!
walks up to Jon: I've got good news and bad news....
is lying on his back, totally ignorant of the world.
Jon complains: Garfield, I just saw a mouse!
It's in the kitchen!
It's driving a shopping cart!
Is that your reason for me to get up?
Poor cupcake... You look so lonely.... You need
a friend... I'll introduce you to a lasagne. *munch*